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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

things are just happening
everything is linking to me!
how come every pm i read is this???
how come?

i read this during my devotion:
"Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish"
Matt 18:14

i just suddenly realise it!
what has happened in the past was my fault
i feel guilty and dont wanna help anymore
fearing that it would just make things worst....
they advised me to talk things out.
but i just feel so guilty
it has also been affecting my friendships with them...
i want to say sorry
but it is hard....
i lose hope....
that time,
my only words to you were, " good luck"

but because of that verse
my mind changed
my heart changed
i was not focusing on the verse
but verse 14 just struck me!
WHY?
it is not the will for you and your friends to be gone.
it is not!

GOD!
you are doing your job
but i am not!
how can you speak to them?
their hearts are hardened
you speak to us in soft voice,
but they are deaf!
Lord!
the second choice is us!
but we, as your servants are not doing anything about it.
i am sorry
we are sorry

i could have reach out earlier
but guilt over powered me
i realised it now

they say
he say
you were
HOPELESS
but verse 14 did say
none of you shall perish
they said wrong
he said wrong

this is like a story
your life is like a story
God written it before hand
ending it with a
HAPPILY EVER AFTER
but some how
the evil one cast a spell
and everybody came alive,
the pages are lost,
but the words still remains.
just like how sin came into the world
we now control the story
and how it ends depend on us
whether we want to follow the book

once it is destroyed
there is still hope
hope that will never end
if only someone would fix it
if only i take a step of faith and fix it

i did not give you second chance
and it passes on as a curse
now i am facing it
i need a second chance
but it does not seem to be there

i am sorry
i am willing to give you a second chance
i pray for this chain of curse to be broken
broken now

now i am going to do my work for the Lord
i am not going to let guilt overpower me
i am not going to let the story end with a NEVER AFTER
i am going to do my best
and if it is still not my best
i still can say
i tried my best

i pray for faith
faith like a mustard seed
this is a tough job
but like i said
someone once said," faith like a mustard seed can move mountains"
i really believe that.
and i believe i can do it!
not alone,
but with my friends

GOD I SUDMIT TO YOU!

lydia.