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Monday, September 28, 2009

added 3 poems
please read
2 done by Lydia (me), 1 by ying ying

Poem #1
Title: unable to draw- Lydia
Done on: 28 Sept 09
At: 11.3oam

Scibbling with frustration
tearing the papers with agony
crumpling the pieces with anger
screaming to myself, "why cant i draw?"

every line, every curve
are cancelled out with black ink
visible holes in the paper
compared to art, no link

unable to draw
not even a perfect smile
unable to apply colours
and everything seems dull

high expectations to meet
the art teacher has for me
but failing it currently
most like getting only a D

i draw a rainbow
its outline only
but the lines are not sastifactory
and i cancel everything out
once again the picture is lonely

why cant i draw?
i need to reflect on that
too much stress, pressure
or something much more than that

maybe i am drawing not for myself
not for pleasure or beauty
i am drawing by force
trying to design something pretty

i need to draw
i want to draw
i desire to draw
i yearn to draw

keep up your faith girl
temporary brain block now
creativity will come back
and soon everyone will go WOW!

do not worry
do not live in fury
you can draw, you can sketch
be patient
and abilities will come back
_______________________________

Poem #2
Title: my prayer- Lydia
Done on: 28 Sept 09
At: 12.47 pm

Dear Lord
i pray
that You will hear my prayer
despite my constant doubting heart

Lord, i am going through a tough time
and in fear right now
i am shivering without an umbrella
under the cold dark storm

i tried by myself
to find my way back home
but i am lost
in the wilderness alone

i do not see
anyone nearby
no one offers the help i need
i am in fear

i try to act tough
standing tall and proud
but Lord i know how bad a liar i am
my heart is crumbling

i am failing
and my faith is dying
my heart cannot find
anything to breathe on

Time is ticking
gone every second
no time is left
sleepless nights

Lord, i realise my mistake
i cannot do it by my strength
Lord, rescue me
and deliver me from this difficulties

Give me the strength and motivation
help me to persevere on
may Your grace shine upon me
help me to finish this race, Lord

remind me of Your constant love
the blessings You gave since i was born
may i not fall into the enemies' hands
but trample on them

carry me please
out of this raging waves
give me shelter in Your hands
i know, i will find peace there

i pray for favour
from You and from people
miracles do happen
if i have faith like a mustard seed

time is lacking
but God you do the impossible
increasing my blessings
knowledge and wisdom

i entrust my burdens to you
at the feet of the cross
transform them into wonders
this i pray with faith

hear my cry Lord
me, a sinner
have mercy on me
cause i know i do not deserve this

i commit whatever i have prayed
knowing you forever care and love
oh, compassionate Father, this i pray
Amen.
________________________________


Poem #3
Title: my refuge- ying ying
Done on: 28 Sept 09
At: 1pm

The storms of this world hit my heart
my heart
held together by faith, hope, love
Lord, You hold Your hand out
faithfully

i look around
tears, pain, they crumble
a hundred fall on my left
thousands fall on my right
but Lord,
i declare it'll not touch me

You hold me now
you life me now on eagle's wings
joy.
i experience
jumping up, out of reach
from the grasp of the tribulation in this world

" as His glory appears,
like the light of the sun,
age to age He shines,
oh, look to the sky,
hear the angels cry,
singing holy is the Lord"

When my faith fails,
i look to Yours, Jesus
You speak to me
words of Your love
hope renews and burns

Omnipresent
if anyone were to write about Your love
i'll never imagine how long it'll go

______________

when all the exams comes,
poetry mood pops up!

exams next week.
FIGHTING!

Friday, September 25, 2009

some pictures to add colour to this soon-gonna-be- dead blog : DDD


____________________________________
i have been writing poems lately
LOL,
writing mood
but apparently, i am not scoring for english?!
sigh...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Title: Disappeared
By: Lydia
Done on: 23rd Sept 09, 12.15pm

The person i know
the once great encouragement
has twisted, turned
and mysteriously disappeared

i tried my utter best
to search for that human being
high, low, far, near
around the world,
but not even a shadow appeared

i needed a glimpse
a sense of his presence
i ask for no more
only wanting a little peep

just to see how he is doing
would mean the world to me
trading my christmas present
would be alright to me

people around me scream
ARE YOU BLIND?
WHY CAN'T YOU SEE
HE IS JUST INFRONT OF YOU
GET THE HINT?

i wiped my tearing eyes
but there was nothing
only a little bright light
surrounded by pitch darkness

is this a joke
cause i do not find it funny
i feel provoked
of them making fun of my worry

but there was no giggle or a smirk
their faces were serious
then why cant i see
this boy i am trying to reach

i peered closely again
at the darkness
it sent shivers through my spine
creeping me out till i was out of my mind

eww...gross...
what a hideous place
that freaky dark area
seriously stink

but then i heard the music
that he usually played
i stepped forward
letting darkness invade

it was a room
a room of art
with different paintings here and there
both nice and well, not - so - nice

the art or should i say designs
filled the entire four walls
leaving no empty space
not a single blank wall

i hated this room
as it was not clean
i wanted something pure
white and without all these

horrid music played
and i recognised the lyrics
hardcore anti -religion ones
i had to cover my ears before i scream

where was the melodious music
the one he plays
where was that light in the darkness
someone show me the way!

then i spotted an unusual box
sitting peacefully on the table
in it was a piece of paper
showing a full body structure

it was a map
of this entire building
or so it seem
to my surpise, this building was him

i trace my finger across the paper
trying to locate where i am
not the brain, not the head,
but, unfortunately that heart

why unfortunately
shouldnt i be happy?
no, cause based on the 4 walls
i already judged him

yes, i judged him
not for the better, but for the worst
he was officially gone
but still i hope not

i used a word to describe the place at first
only one simple word- screwed
but now that i know this was him
does it still apply?

tears trickled down
i was too late
but before all my hope was gone
he said HEY!

we chatted like normal
he was still there
i remember the speck of light in the darkness
i indeed have found him

yes, he disappeared
yes, i thought he was gone
but forever? no way
there was still good in him

tear drops tear drops
down they go
i will change him back, i promise
cause now, it is my goal

____________________________________

was just in a mood to write
haha! : D
whether it is real or not
NO COMMENTS : D

Monday, September 21, 2009

have not blog for a long time

i realised something
this term is going to be a term of test and a lot of difficulties
not being emo
but really
first week of school and i have been bombarded with tons of problems
forget about all the exams and the lack of time to study
but,
i starting to face challenges
currently, there is like a battle going on in my head
a problem solve, a new one pops up
i am going through this non stop

ya, i do feel like giving up
but obviously i cannot
i guess God is testing my endurance, my faith and everything i learn this year
after all the blessings God gave me
especially in term 3,
term 4 is my official EXAM of the year

yes, i do not give up, as this is all temporary
i need to persevere and keep my faith strong and firm
look forward to AFTER exam.
happiness will come
HORRAY!

oh yes,
bandung youths are confirm coming to singapore in mid nov!
woots!

*fighting!!*

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

school so far has been nothing but hectic hectic hectic
it has been madness ever since term 4 started
nothing else but mock papers and practice papers.
every subject somemore
staying back everyday for drama prac. plus recess too
my group members and everyone else are practically starving themselves
a fast way of losing weight???
nah...murderous.
with tons of hw, plus unneccessary tests coming up
we are just tested on our time management skills and "whether you can cope with stress" skills
so far my results i received are alright
praise God for improvement for chinese spelling, lit and english formal (best essay i wrote so far)
but then,
would i still be able to do so for the exam
OF COURSE I CAN!
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH CHRIST!

my group completed the whole drama piece
but with all the last min changes
plus having to memorise script
argh...brains are just splitting apart
yes, fun when we rehearse....but the much worrying we have to do truely kills.
IT WILL BE OVER SOON!

5 weeks only,
like i said,
time passes quickly especially when u r busy
may time pass quickly...
MAY IT BE HOLIDAYS IN A BLINK OF AN EYE!

i need to find time to swim
i need to chillax
i miss bof-ing
lydia is forever a bof-er
THAT MEANS I WILL BE GOING TO KOREA!!!!
WOOTS!

(ps: read all the caps sentences, they link together to summarise my entire long winded post)
(psps: my art teacher lied to me that she was getting married)
(pspsps: team kim hyun joong!)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

woots!
yesterday was awesome
especially the sense of worship- the presence was there
reconcilation, breaking down, tears, slain...
YOU. someone who has been praying for a revival will just smile and praise GOD
with a YES and a high-5, yesterday, i felt the feeling of sucesss...
a pure joy.
i couldnt help it...but i just kept on smiling.
THAT IS THE TRUE EXTEND OF JOY!

kicking of term 4,
i shall commit it in prayer
may GOD truely helped my in these few weeks of exams.
plus, of course, making term 4 a memorable one, like term3
make term 4 have abundance of blessing
new experience will come-worship leading and all
i bet GOD will do something miraculous.
ISNT HE AWESOME???

Thursday, September 10, 2009

SWIM LYDIA SWIM!
dont quit.
guess what, i am officially starting to get darker
you can see the white rings around my eyes
oh,
and i think i am starting to grow faster!
HAHAH! cool!
sadly, once school start this cannot be a regular routine
maybe once a week? twice a week?
i love the water.
dont you?!

tomorrow to ann's house for an ALMOST whole day drama prac
i really hope we can complete the piece
exam is next week
jalat.
anyway, JIA YOU!
TEAM DRAMA SHALL OWN THE DRAMA EXAM!
FIGHTING!

yes,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNE LIEW
and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHNNY!
(people just keep on getting older everyday...sigh)
DONT YOU LOVE BIRTHDAYS????!!!!
*pops the party poopers!*

shooot
i cannot give a birthday present to kim hyun joong.
*dreams*

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

and today's archievement is
*drumroll again*
SWIMMING!
yeah! level up to 30 laps a day
and somemore without stopping...
but seriously, i swim like some tortoise,
speed went to zero already...
sigh,
TRAIN
GROW TALLER!
SWIM LYDIA SWIM!

and...
i dont feel like studying
SIGH!

i had a super duper weird dream today
like absolutely weird
what movie did i watch to cause this kinda imagination???
hmm...who cares
as long as i dream
i know that i am still a kid at heart : DDD

당신은 나의 모두이다

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

though the results werent what we expected
we did try out best
so be happy
even a low result is an archievement

my holidays;
wake up, swim, devotion, eat, sleep, game,
HOMEWORK, STUDY, use com...
kinda pathetic.
but oh well
i still have my end of year holidays to look forward to
woots!
stay positive : DDD

let me tell u something
I NEED TO GROW TALLER
after a year break from WATER(swim)
i am not swimming everyday
ya, miss the water
i decided on this:
to grow taller= swim more
time to listen to the father's advice.

korea= love <3

Monday, September 07, 2009

something wrong with blogger again

anyway,
i did my 20 laps today
i really miss the swimming pool
the feeling of water
i love water.
and i am afriad of the deep sea
madness
anyway,
should i continue with my lessons
i dont mind a part time job of being a life guard

doing geog now
the test paper is super long winded
if the exam is really like this
i have to write really quickly

shop with mum yesterday and today
a girl loves to shop
: DDD
SALE is my mum's fav word i guess

BOF-ING : DDD

Saturday, September 05, 2009

lalaland!
it is...DRUMROLL!
HOLIDAY TIME!
well, though it is only one week, and there is a lot of work to do
i guess i can catch up with my sleeping time now.
HAHA!
i know i am lazy.
: DDD

well, i got my results
and yes, I AM SUPER PLEASED!
improving 6% is not easy...
once again, (and forever again)
CREDITS GOES TO MY HEAVENLY FATHEAR!
: DDD
i am super glad that this term had gone pretty well
though at first i freaked out about all the tests,
well, i guess this term did not kill me
HAHA!
actually, i really enjoyed this term,
GOD has truely shown me wonders and how impossible are turned to possible
my faith was tested, and i am glad to say i passed!
now i have more opportunities( like now co-leading worship...)
may GOD used me mightily that i may be a blessing to others.

SEOUL GARDEN YESTERDAY!
THANKS FOR THE TREAT JANICE!
anyway, i ate a ton of food,
from delicious meat to grossing crockles.
anyway, the joy of eating 3h straight.
till now, i am still bloated.
: DDD
the fats have attacked!
but despite that, i still want to go to SEOUL GARDEN again.
not now, maybe months later

had a great time at nat's house too
: DDD
girls talk! : DDD

TEAM KIM HYUN JOONG
(BOF-KOREA)

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

yesterday was a tiring day...
not that i overworked myself,
just that i wanted to sleep.....

was rather disappointed with the timetable yesterday
every school ended earlier,
but my school ended same time...
so by 11.30, many people were smsing...
WHERE IS LYDIA AND YING YING?
well, thank God that we had no lessons yesterday
it was teachers' day eve and we spent entire lessons asking teachers about their past.
so,
it also gave me plenty of time to plop my head on the table and sleep
mum came and drove me n ying to home
where i got to bathe
before rushing off to primary school.
by the time we arrive, they were clearing the entire canteen, met ex classmates
and went to AMK for ice cream.
BOY! I MISS EMILY AND TESSA!
emily is still random girl- peanut incident
tessa is still FUNNY!

back home,
i slept all the way till dinner time
actually, it was not just me,
all my siblings all "camped" with me at the living room to sleep
my parents had to resort to switching on the tv to wake us up
then like usual, had tuition..

OH!
yesterday conferenced with nat, rachel and johnny after so long
what was the occasion? or was it just pure bored-ness?!
anyway, talked till sleepy.
HAHA! we were talking bout random things...
SERIOUSLY RANDOM STUFF!
like what shampoo do you use?

today.
no school and i wake up at 11.30pm
HORRAY!
gave me plenty of time to dream.
currently, i am trying to study chinese spelling.
but i guess i get distracted too easily.
BLAH!

korea korea korea
kim hyun joong!!